A Daughter at Last

"Momma, wash your boobies!"

These are the words that greet me as I take a hurried shower. My daughter, Tessa, looks at me with big brown eyes and the gap-toothed smile of a six-year old. I remember a time not so long ago when my shower ritual consisted of choosing just the right shower gel from my collection, exfoliating with a big loofah, and shaving my legs with leisure.

That was then, and this is now. I am amazed at how our lives have changed so drastically, yet all of these new experiences seem so normal, so natural, so meant-to-be. It was a trip to China in December that changed all our lives forever in the most magical and wonderous way. Our hearts had already been in China since September 22nd.

Going to China is amazing in itself. Going to China during Christmas and New Year's Day is nothing short of spectacular. Add to this the adoption of a little girl, and the whole experience is life-changing in the most emotional way imaginable.

We arrived in Beijing after missing our connecting flight in Tokyo. After a night of sleeping in what was meant to be a kimino but felt more like a hospital gown, all I wanted was to go to our hotel for a shower and clean clothes. The rest of our group was already in a historic area of Beijing ready to take a tour in rickshaws, and that's where we found ourselves after leaving the airport. Beijing was cold, and our driver threw a dingy red blanket over our knees (did I mention I'm a germaphobe)and off we went wearing three-day-old underwear and nearly starving. I found a mashed South Beach bar in the bottom of my purse, and as I munched away, huddled under a filthy blanket, I wondered if all this was real or a dream.

A new day brought a fresh perspective, and we were ready to see our daughter's country. China is truly magnificant, and we developed a deep respect and appreciation of its history and culture. As we toured Beijing, I was amazed at the contrasts of old versus new: the Bird's Nest from the Olympics, the Great Wall of China, modern malls with McDonald's, and craftsmen carving the most intricate designs in jade by hand. This is the homeland of my daughter, and while I wanted to absorb every sight and sound, my heart was in Guangzhou where we would finally hold her in our arms and I could whisper, "Wo ai ne" (I love you) into her ear.

On December 21st, we boarded the plane to fly to Guangzhou, and this flight was exceptional. The flight attendants for China Air look like supermodels. Their hair is worn in a chignon, and their royal blue suits look like French couture. Their jackets are close-fitting, just enought to show off a slender figure, and the pencil skirts are just above the knee. Silk scarves are worn around the neck and are tied in the most exquisite, beautiful manner. Watching these girls direct passengers is like watching ballet. Their gestures are graceful, and they are smiling as if serving a plane full of passengers is their greatest pleasure.

Arriving in Guangzhou is a treat, and the tropical weather and palm trees give the feeling of a resort. We are finally here, and tomorrow is Gotcha Day! It's a special night as we eat dinner with our friends, and we acknowledge that the next time we sit down to dinner together, the dynamics will be quite different! I am a bundle of nerves, and I think about a little girl whose life is going to change. She will board a bus from Shenzhen City tomorrow to meet us in Guangzhou. What must be going through her mind tonight?

GOTCHA DAY

This is it. After years of paperwork, waiting, and speculating, our moment has finally arrived. We ride a bus to the government building where we will meet our daughter. Upon arrival we see vans of babies, toddlers, and older children, and they are lined up inside the door as we enter. Our guide tells us not to look at the children or try to find ours as we take the elevator upstairs. The room at the top of the elevator if full of families who have received their children, and it is a sight I will never forget. We are ushered into a small room and told that our children will come in one at a time, two minutes apart. Cameras are poised and traded around as we get ready for the first child, a baby girl whose name is Layla. Tessa will be next, and our guide tells us that she and another little boy want to come in together. I had tried, but nothing could prepare me for this moment. David and I looked and saw a little face peeking around the door. We had sent a little photo album so Tessa would know what we looked like. When she spotted us, her face lit up! She ran to me and gave me the biggest hug, and, just as I imagined it, I whispered, "Wo ai ne" into her ear. We had finally found each other. This was my daughter.

The two young ladies that escorted Tessa gave David and me a little bag full of wonderful momentos: a piece of cut glass, Tessa's school papers, a letter from a teacher, and a few pictures of her and her Social Welfare Institution. These are things we will treasure forever, along with the clothes and the red beaded bracelet she was wearing.

The rest of our time in Guangzhou proved what I already knew to be true. Tessa was a little girl with a sunny personality who was full of love and a huge desire for a momma and papa. She already knew the alphabet and could count in English. She had been beautifully prepared for adoption, and I attribute this, along with her own confidence and happy nature, to be the reasons for a successful transition to her new life.

What a difference a few months can make.

Our days are full of our child's laughter and singing. I'm constantly amazed at how quickly she is learning English and the things she says. While my showers are no longer a spa-like experience, the laughter of hearing my daughter say, "Momma, wash your boobies" greatly outweighs the extinction of leisure. Afternoons will find me outside on the tricycle from my childhood while Tessa tools around in her Tinkerbell car. My knees creak as I kneel to draw our rainbows and butterflies on the driveway, and I am certainly winded after dancing to all 30 songs on Tessa's Disney CD.
I couldn't tell you what's new for spring at Nordstrom's this year, but I can give you a critique of the fashion line at Kelly's Kids and Gymboree. The necklace I wear every day is not my diamond, but the the Chinese symbols for mother and daughter. Being Tessa's mom is the greatest and most important thing I will ever do. Tessa is a blessing and a miracle, and we will always love and honor China for giving us this most precious gift.