The Fed Ex delivery man had no clue that the package he casually delivered to our front door was our hope, our dream, our daughter, Tessa. Our LOA came from China via our agency, and it is titled "Letter of Seeking Confirmation from Adopter." It is a beautiful document with an ornate green border and a bold red seal. It states, "You are kindly requested to make your decision," and the wording strikes me as having the same tone I would use to offer a glass of sweet tea to a guest on the front porch swing. It's a striking contrast to my mood as I dance around clutching the letter to my chest until I realize I might crease or bend this precious document. Will the CCAA be able to sense the emphatic nature of the way I put a check mark by the "yes" box? Do they know my heart goes with this letter as we overnight it to our agency?
Tessa's room is nearly ready. The walls are painted a sunny yellow, and her furniture will be here in a couple of weeks. We have stuffed animals and books, but no toothbrush or pajamas! Tessa will need a winter coat; Kentucky winters are cold. She has probably never seen snow. Guangdong is in southern China with a Miami-like climate. Can you picture her face the first time she sees it? We need mittens, boots, and lots of hot chocolate!
The rest of our house is seeing a shift as well. Complete seasons of "Sex and the City" DVDs are moved to remote location and are replaced by "The Little Mermaid" and "Cinderella." Book cases are anchored to the wall (who knows .. she might be a climber). Yes, I have remembered to relocate the liquor and the knives. The dining room table is covered in documents we have to take to China, systematically arranged in the order as the items in our check list.
Tessa's appointment with the International Children's Clinic in Lexington has been arranged, and she will have a pediatrician who specializes in children of international adoption. We are fortunate to have such a resource less than an hour's drive from our home. Kindergarten has also been arranged at a church less than fifty yards from our back door. We will have to wait and see about when she might start attending.
There is really going to be a little girl at our house! Santa will come at Christmas time, and we will have slumber parties and go to Disneyworld. There will be tears and tantrums and the drama and angst that I have witnessed as a professional. Only this time I will experience these things as a mom, and I have the feeling that it will make all the difference in the world!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Our Girl!
Our adoption journey began July 12, 2006. Before this day we were just Paula and David, married twenty-eight years and perfectly happy with no children. As a high school English teacher, and later a librarian, I enjoyed daily contact with teenagers. Teaching participles to teenagers with their daily drama, angst, and attitudes was both a challenge and a delight. There are those students that touch your life in a significant way (if you're reading this, you know who you are)! While I thought that their parents must be terribly proud, it never occurred to me to wonder what it would be like to be one of those parents. David and I channeled our nurturing instincts into our dogs whom we we refer to as our "fur children." They are West Highland white terriers, westies, named Duncan and Brodie. Like all carefree couples we enjoyed a lifestyle that focused on us and our interests. We love to travel and have been fortunate to travel often and extensively throughout the United States and Europe. Our house is over two hundred years old and, and renovating and decorating it has been a passion. We never worried about the liquor under the kitchen sink being accessible to a child, the electical outlets being needing to be plugged with little safety gadgets, or the sharp knives in the drawer by the stove that a little girl could reach. Life was easy and comfortable with few worries.
So the big question is: What happened?
While David had mentioned adopting a little girl from China years ago, I dismissed it. Life was good; why change it? Then came the summer of 2006. There was no one big epiphany, but rather a series of little events that made me start thinking about a child of our own. They were brief, fleeting moments of really seeing for the first time a mother with her adopted daughter from a Latin American country ... a father holding his small child on his lap as the family enjoyed lunch at restaurant by the pier. It wasn't long before I was researching adoption from China on the Internet and woke David up from a deep sleep one night in July and asked, "What do you think about adopting a little girl from China?"
On July 12, 2002 we sent our application to our adoption agency (thank you, Pam for connecting us to the agency that would lead us to our girl). We were thrilled to be accepted; China's rules for adoptive parents were strict and were about to become more so. A dossier was prepared in record time and was sent from our agency to China on October 6, 2006. Our LID was October 30, 2006 (this is when you are officially recognized by the CCAA and your place "in line" is established).
The waiting began.
In the beginning we anticipated a wait of 14-18 months before we would go to China to get our daughter (at least that was the current trend). Before long, we became aware that the wait would become much longer and much more emotional than we could have ever imagined. Paperwork expired and had to be renewed, but David and I were in this for the duration. There would be a daughter, and she would be the one we were always meant to have! We kept our paperwork current, and continued on with life. We did a lot of traveling, enjoyed our friends, and did our best not to dwell on the growing wait for our daughter. I made a couple of quilts and bought a few books for our daughter, but then decided to put that on hold. We did not settle on a name or prepare a room.
Fast Forward to September 2008:
We were on the slow boat to China. Originally, we had requested a little girl between 18 months to 3 years old. The reality was that we were getting older as we were waiting for a younger child. Did this really make sense? We talked with our social worker about opening ourselves up to an older child and thought long and hard about the decision. Finally, we decided to allow our adoption agency to match us with a little girl up to 6 years old. The CCAA would then approve the match (we hoped), and we would have our daughter.
Very shortly after submitting the new paperwork to our agency, we got what adoptive parents refer to as "the call." The words, "We have a daughter for you," still dance in my head to a happy, happy tune! The agency sent her file to our e-mail, and I could see her pictures and read all about her. Before I could even wonder what she would look like, there was her picture on the screen .... breathtakingly beautiful. I discovered she can hop on one foot, she helps the younger children as if she is a big sister, she loves dolls and tea sets. To say David and I are thrilled is an understatement! We still need pre-approval (PA) from China, and we are on pins and needles waiting for it. It could be between 2-10 weeks. It feels like forever.
The PA Arrives!
China said, "YES!" Our PA arrived on September 22nd. It's time to celebrate, and we go out to dinner with dear friends who share in our joy. After a very long wait, it's time to decorate a room, learn some Chinese, buy clothes and books, and choose a name for our daughter. She will be Tessa Fudan.
The next step is the LOA (letter of approval from China). The time frame: 3-4 months our agency says. More waiting. The happy news is the wait is only a week! On Halloween we receive our LOA along with many other couples. The CCAA must have been working really hard. Our agency says we will go to China in a couple of months, but by now we know to expect anything!
On November 1st we go shopping for Tessa's bedroom furniture. We have so much to do, but we are energized. Two years of keeping everything even keel and low-toned have erupted into productive activity like our house has never seen!
Hang on Tessa, we'll be there soon!
So the big question is: What happened?
While David had mentioned adopting a little girl from China years ago, I dismissed it. Life was good; why change it? Then came the summer of 2006. There was no one big epiphany, but rather a series of little events that made me start thinking about a child of our own. They were brief, fleeting moments of really seeing for the first time a mother with her adopted daughter from a Latin American country ... a father holding his small child on his lap as the family enjoyed lunch at restaurant by the pier. It wasn't long before I was researching adoption from China on the Internet and woke David up from a deep sleep one night in July and asked, "What do you think about adopting a little girl from China?"
On July 12, 2002 we sent our application to our adoption agency (thank you, Pam for connecting us to the agency that would lead us to our girl). We were thrilled to be accepted; China's rules for adoptive parents were strict and were about to become more so. A dossier was prepared in record time and was sent from our agency to China on October 6, 2006. Our LID was October 30, 2006 (this is when you are officially recognized by the CCAA and your place "in line" is established).
The waiting began.
In the beginning we anticipated a wait of 14-18 months before we would go to China to get our daughter (at least that was the current trend). Before long, we became aware that the wait would become much longer and much more emotional than we could have ever imagined. Paperwork expired and had to be renewed, but David and I were in this for the duration. There would be a daughter, and she would be the one we were always meant to have! We kept our paperwork current, and continued on with life. We did a lot of traveling, enjoyed our friends, and did our best not to dwell on the growing wait for our daughter. I made a couple of quilts and bought a few books for our daughter, but then decided to put that on hold. We did not settle on a name or prepare a room.
Fast Forward to September 2008:
We were on the slow boat to China. Originally, we had requested a little girl between 18 months to 3 years old. The reality was that we were getting older as we were waiting for a younger child. Did this really make sense? We talked with our social worker about opening ourselves up to an older child and thought long and hard about the decision. Finally, we decided to allow our adoption agency to match us with a little girl up to 6 years old. The CCAA would then approve the match (we hoped), and we would have our daughter.
Very shortly after submitting the new paperwork to our agency, we got what adoptive parents refer to as "the call." The words, "We have a daughter for you," still dance in my head to a happy, happy tune! The agency sent her file to our e-mail, and I could see her pictures and read all about her. Before I could even wonder what she would look like, there was her picture on the screen .... breathtakingly beautiful. I discovered she can hop on one foot, she helps the younger children as if she is a big sister, she loves dolls and tea sets. To say David and I are thrilled is an understatement! We still need pre-approval (PA) from China, and we are on pins and needles waiting for it. It could be between 2-10 weeks. It feels like forever.
The PA Arrives!
China said, "YES!" Our PA arrived on September 22nd. It's time to celebrate, and we go out to dinner with dear friends who share in our joy. After a very long wait, it's time to decorate a room, learn some Chinese, buy clothes and books, and choose a name for our daughter. She will be Tessa Fudan.
The next step is the LOA (letter of approval from China). The time frame: 3-4 months our agency says. More waiting. The happy news is the wait is only a week! On Halloween we receive our LOA along with many other couples. The CCAA must have been working really hard. Our agency says we will go to China in a couple of months, but by now we know to expect anything!
On November 1st we go shopping for Tessa's bedroom furniture. We have so much to do, but we are energized. Two years of keeping everything even keel and low-toned have erupted into productive activity like our house has never seen!
Hang on Tessa, we'll be there soon!
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